Saturday's Substack
Negotiating what's possible
Dear Substack Community: It’s Saturday, again, and I am trying to take some time off from the busy week and just breathe. With everything that is happening in the world, I’ve decided to meditate for 8 minutes each morning at 8am with a group of folks who take seriously activism and being wise as a serpent. I am reminded of Fr. Richard Rohr, a college of mine, who writes, “everything belongs.” When we arrive at that place where / when we can see that everything belongs, we can better be able to negotiate what is possible. We have to tell the painful truth of our shared realities. How do we do that and honor all voices? I’m still learning that skill, and I am also learning what is possible.
I write each Saturday a Substack that brings together my lived experience and share the learning journey that I am on! Folks in Western NY are learning that my work is auto ethnographic and some are becoming uncomfortable in the face of that emerging reality, and others are begging me to keep sharing my story. Again, negotiating what is possible.
The truth has always divided people. Look at the time of Jesus! And, the ways people tell their stories always shifts the truth. For example, my friend Tony Jones life was destroyed because of the way a story was told. And, I return to Tony as an example of what moral leadership looks like, because we are each perfectly imperfect and leadership takes a diversity of tactics.
It was Tony who told me to go spend time with real people, which is why I moved to the South in the first place. I saw up front the ways truth telling divided people and how white folks were scared to become uncomfortable in the face of oppression. I started writing on this and speaking on this. I’ve published two books on the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, ability, and more. Then, I moved to a small rural town in Western NY where the entrenchment is real. Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
I’ve got a growing number of friendships that aid in negotiating what is possible. I love that! My friend, Vivian, is a true Light in the age of Darkness. What a godsend! She’s vegetarian, so we are still negotiating what’s possible with food!
My friend Steve who brings me bread each week is another true Light in the age of Darkness. We are dreaming together how food will build community. It’s something that feels very real to me, and having another Latino around to help me think through these things is so helpful!
This is my daily bread from Steve. I pray the Jesus prayer multiple times a day to manage my anxiety. And, my daily bread comes from a comrade hoping to build another possible world with me.
I want to start writing on how violence has shaped all of us and how, in the face of fascist nightmares, how might we name violence as part of our shared desire? What I mean by this is that we don’t know shalom or peace because we are too tethered to the desire to do violence. We have become violent people. It’s mimesis, as René Girard wrote. I don’t know how to incorporate that into my series of writing, but please know that it is present for me and I want to start addressing how violent our culture is, even well-meaning people are violent. We are underdeveloped for this moment in history. As a society, we have become so conscripted into supremacy cultures that we cannot see a vision for peace and we are unable to negotiate what is possible.
For now, we rest on a Saturday, because rest is resistance. We breathe, because breathing is what regulates our nervous system. We meditate because that also calms the nervous system.
Let us negotiate what is possible in Love. That’s the other thing I’m learning right now: love is risky.
Take care of each other and let’s try to get back into practice of being with one another; truly being with one another.
Paz, —Roberto Che Espinoza+